Satire: Cowardice Journalist Blast Business Genius Bezos as Disloyal Subscribers Desert

by PW Perspective Editorial Board

The Washington Post has been hemorrhaging subscribers lately after its owner, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, put his thumb on the scale and blocked the publication’s endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris in the 2024 Presidential Election.

The move has been widely criticized not only by the public but by journalists who work for the industry-leading newspaper. The move even drew criticism from The Washington Post’s former Executive Editor, Marty Baron, who said the move “was clearly made for other reasons, not for reasons of high principle” in an interview with NPR’s Morning Edition.

But as many are focusing on a minor hiccup in the otherwise flawless career of the genius Jeffrey Preston Bezos, we at PW Perspective believe that it is far more important to self reflect and address the failures of local press, specifically those of our founder, John Reid. 

Did Reid kill PW Perspective’s endorsement of Harris? Well, not technically, but we are certain that is only because we, as a small, independently owned local media outlet, did not intend to endorse in this presidential race (though if we did, we would be endorsing Harris). But the bigger problem is that Reid himself did not instruct us to endorse Harris, and there are only two reasons this has not caused us to lose hundreds of thousands of subscribers. First, our audience is not that large, and second, Reid has failed to garner a base of paid subscribers.

Yes, you read that right. Reid has failed to implement a paid subscriber program because he thinks, and this is a direct quote, “Our publication should be accessible to everyone.” How absurd? Reid’s failure to create a base of subscribers that he could subsequently lose for editorial decisions represents his failing with this so-called newspaper. Doesn’t he realize journalism–above all else–is about business, not the public flow of information? 

Many people are criticizing Bezos for his decision, but they ignore the true genius behind his acquisition of the post. He is part of an important trend in the journalism industry–the corporatization of the press! Without people like Bezos, we might have flourishing local newspapers that are actually owned by people in the community. Doesn’t the idea of that make you sick? 

How would you feel if the person covering your local state senate race was your neighbor who you saw every day, the one who you share your struggles with? How could you possibly trust that guy? You have no idea what he’s hiding. Thanks to Bezos and his kin, we don’t have to worry about that. The news is becoming less and less personal as those who own publications utilize them for measured moves that benefit their other businesses, and thank God for that. Only a socialist would want to know whether an article is being written by a reporter or a business analyst.

It’s time to put an end to this local press nonsense. 

If Reid has any integrity left, he will sell out to a massive corporate media group and leave the big decisions in the hands of those who really know what they’re doing–the business leaders of our nation, who will turn into into something profitable instead of the wretched, soulless hub of community-centric reporting it is.

Note from the editor: PW Perspective would like to take this opportunity to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris for President of the United States. Though Harris has displayed a troubled record relating to some issues of concern for this publication, it is our belief that her candidacy presents the best path forward for our nation. 

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