“You created my inmost being; You, knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13

The challenges of being a mother are too numerous to mention. However, they can become even greater when they’re not only caring for the child but need to take care of themselves as well. Ending the cycle of poverty and homelessness is a great task, and that is what Carried to Full Term in Haymarket strives to do.

Since its inception in 2006, the vision given to founder and Executive Director Frances Robin to determine how to best help mothers, expectant or otherwise, has manifested into a safe haven for women around the world. Recently, the PW Perspective met with Frances and Tiffany Brown to discuss how CTFT continues its mission.

Carried to Full Term started in 2006 when Frances, who was an Intel Analyst, partnered with St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.

“In 2010, I left my job and I had been wrestling with this idea from years of working in two avenues,” said Frances. “One, from years of working at crisis locations, and being a mentor to young mothers. I coupled those experiences together and created CTFT. It took a long time, but I rented the home from the [St. Paul’s Episocpal] church, and they’ve been so supportive of us to see it become a reality.”

That reality involves becoming a home for women ages 18 or older who are looking to provide a home for their child. It is more than just a place to rest, however, as CTFT has become a preparedness center, providing all types of classes from financial education to nutritional, to “atomic habits,” in which the mothers are taught how to remove unhealthy habits that could create potential issues down the line for them and their child.

“Once they move in here, they sign a contract, because they have to be at least 18 years old to be in,” said Tiffany. “They sign this agreement that they’re coming into the house, but they also agree to work with us in order to get to that level where they can take care of themselves. Based on where they are, we have a ‘pass the baton’ system where we hand off our services to others who can help them not only financially, but emotionally as well.”

Part of that system involves having the mothers agree to give up temporary ownership of their cell phones for a period of time. ““We get a lot of resistance in the beginning, especially with the cell phone,” says Frances. “When they first arrive, they have to give up their cell phone for at least 90 days. It helps them to remove a dependency and focus on what they need to do in order to get prepared. Sadly, some would rather choose homelessness than give up their cell phone.”

For those who continue on, however, they are treated a variety of methods to help them grow. Tiffany describes an average day at CTFT. ““A typical day is they’re up and ready for classes by 8:30am, unless they have to go to work. We have a class called atomic habits, which helps them to remove bad habits. Then there is a trauma crisis class, and a wellness and fitness class. There is a yoga studio that we have a partnership class. Also, there is a boundaries class, which helps them to establish proper boundaries with a partner or a friend.”

What are the qualifications to have residency? She continues. “We are one of the only places in Northern Virginia that help the moms who want to have their baby and truly carry it to full term, hence the name. It first started when the mothers who were only pregnant, but now within the past year or two, we’ve opened up to mothers who may not be pregnant, but they have children. Our goal is to end the cycle of homelessness for all mothers.”

Providing life skills is an essential part of ending the cycle, and the directors teach the mothers to be independent so they can be ready for what is to come. “Here, we have an instruction that will go through Coursera and review the materials to help them set up their own accounts,” says Frances. “On Thursdays, we implement what was taught on Tuesdays. While each mom has a different nutrition plan, everything goes through their doctor. We help to implement that plan through proper nutritional habits. There is a nutritionist that comes in and do a daily evaluation for the mothers and help them prepare their meals better as well. It depends on the mother and where she is health wise at the time, because appetites can change as they go further into the pregnancy.”

Walking through the different rooms they have names such as Grace, Hope and Faith. There is enough space to house upwards of 10 persons, and the classes are taught by professionals in their respective fields in order to help the whole person.

Tiffany discusses how they help the mothers reach financial self-sufficiency. “It allows them to get rid of financial debt and removes anything that prevents them from having a successful financial future. We follow the Dave Ramsey financial courses. We look through their budget and the debt that they have, so we can teach them how to manage with their children and themselves.”

What makes Carried to Full Term successful is not just in the work they do, but in the partnerships, they have established throughout the community.

“It’s wonderful that we have so much support,” says Tiffany. “We have one mother who comes in with a boy, and we don’t have any clothing. We’ll put a post out on social media. The next day the porch is full of toys and shoes, brand new. Or, if the mother passes her driver’s test, people will donate their cars. Piedmont Tire and Auto Service will check out the car. There are social services to pay for childcare and accept the subsidized payments, so it allows the mother to have their child covered.”

“One of our biggest is UVA Health, where the mothers come in and may not have insurance can still get care. We can’t take high risk pregnancies but will recommend doctors who can help the mothers who are at risk.”

“We need volunteers to help babysit while the mothers can go to work and attend personal classes. Our two biggest needs are transportation and childcare, which is why we’re having the classes in house so the mothers can get everything they need in one location.”

Sadly, not every situation works out, and the mothers, whether it’s due to outside influences or other personal factors, decide to move on. Frances discusses how CTFT gives them plenty of opportunities but realize that the mothers may need additional resources going forward. “We have a relationship in which we’ve had some who experience such difficulties that we will sometimes recommend other places in Prince William or Fauquier Counties that can help them. We give the mothers a lot of opportunities to change. There are about nine write ups until we have to come to that point, and sometimes the mothers leave on their own.”

While some take advantage of that grace period, Tiffany states that, “We never want to have a mother leave and go back into the situation that they came from, and we realize that there are those times in which they choose to leave and sometimes, they want to come back.”

The past two years has given way to exploring how to help with mental health issues, and Frances discusses the changes. “Covid changes a lot of protocols that we have in place. We would give them an admittance letter to schedule appointments with therapists, because now they’re coming into an area of a safe space, and we can help them with their traumas that needed to be attended to. Often when we’re having a difficult time with a mother due to behavioral challenges, we work to form a personal relationship with their therapists so they can get healed.”

One of the ways that they help the mothers is by creating a points system, in which if the mother earns enough points in a two-week span, whether it’s by doing chores or following through on the classes, they are rewarded. “Everything here is incentivized,” says Frances. “For example, we have a boutique next door, and they can get treated if they reach a certain number of points at the end of two weeks. It’s a benefit that they don’t have to go to the store and spend money. The goal is to help them to save money and use that for a house. At the boutique they can pick up supplies for them or their babies.”

“It’s not given to them” says Tiffany, “it’s earned, and they place a higher value on what they obtain. They have also grown a garden in a partnership with the Virginia Cooperative Extension which is behind the building. They’re now growing their own foods, which may be zucchinis or watermelons. We also teach them to cook their own foods as well. It means more to them than just going to Wal-Mart and picking up their items.”

Not only does Carried to Full Term help the mothers grow financially and mentally, but also spiritually. “We do have a statement of faith in the agreement in which they do have time to practice their particular faith” says Frances. “While our statement of faith is Christian, they must go to find a place where they can go and worship whatever they personally believe, even if they don’t have a personal belief. Our bible study courses are from a Judeo-Christian perspective, but it’s to include open questions from all religions, and they will ask questions. It helps to create an environment where people feel comfortable in expressing what they believe.”

So, how do they help mothers who comes across the globe? “We have had mothers from five different countries at one time,” Frances continues. “There are those in which English wasn’t their first language, so we’ve partnered with those from the same country who can volunteer and help them to understand the words so we can communicate better. Our environment is inclusive, even to those who don’t speak English at all. We will find some partnership to help them.”

Tiffany says that sometimes the women have been hurt so much by their situation that it’s hard for them to trust the staff at first, but over time the mothers become more willing to develop a rapport. “There are those mothers who are untrusting of others, even of other women. A lot of that comes from past experiences, and they will ask why are we helping them? They’re not used to people actually helping them and genuinely concerned.”  

There are those situations in which the mothers continue to deal with their situations, and Frances says it can take a toll on the mothers.

“Our focus is on healing the whole person, and sometimes they will still have so much trauma because of issues with the partner, they will leave and then blame us for not doing enough to make them stay harder, even as we sent an entire team of people to help them. It hurts, but those outside influences can be a difficult thing to overcome.”

She continues. “It’s sometimes due to financials, and those outside influences see that they’re benefitting and no longer need them, so they’ll manipulate the mothers into leaving them. They will go back into the same environment that they tried to get away from in the beginning. It’s difficult, but we do our best to stay connected to them.”

However, for those who stick it out, and they see the fruits blossoming, they show their appreciation by becoming volunteers after completing the program. “They also give back with volunteerism,” says Frances, “because the mothers get into the habit of giving and interacting with others.”

For more information on Carried to Full Term, check out their website and Facebook. There will be more to come on how they have impacted the lives of so many as they celebrate another year.