by Queenie McLean

Some are “single and loving it”, while others are “single and sulking”. Some marriages are flourishing and fulfilling, while others are hanging on by a thread. Regardless of where you are, rest assured, “LOVE” is available and attainable. Now, let’s explore six valuable ingredients to creating and maintaining the “HEALTHY LOVE” that you desire.

Every successful relationship has its ups and downs, but when a relationship is built on a strong foundation, it can be enduring and timeless. Couples that share common values, goals and similar beliefs are already ahead of most. Add in a few other essentials and “let love live”!

“Finding love” can be challenging at times and sometimes feel impossible.

Having a healthy relationship or an unhealthy relationship depends on ones expectations, authentic communication styles and beliefs. Just like improper temperature and cooking times can affect the outcome of your buttermilk biscuits, so can past traumas, experiences (good and bad) and lack of environmental awareness affect your current and future relationships.

How important is it to have the right ingredients, in the right amount, at the right time to receive the love you want? The answer to that question is, “Extremely”.

For the Love of Biscuits

One evening, I found myself making homemade buttermilk biscuits for the first time, in an attempt to impress my significant other. As a “newbie” to biscuit making, I felt ill-prepared and a little nervous, but still I was committed to the process.

I wanted nothing more than to “woo my boo” with a buttery, flaky, fluffy biscuit, filled with LOVE and good intentions.

Just like my venture into making biscuits, when we set out to find love, we have lofty ideas and visions of what we want and how we want thing to be.

Oftentimes we feel a bit nervous and unsure. The questions, what, how, why, when and even who, oftentimes rattles our brain.

The right answer is, use the ingredients that have been tested and found to be, “tried and true.” That’s the best place to start.

Let’s Make Biscuits

Before I embarked on my biscuit making journey, I started research at YouTube University, then phoned my sister to double check grandma’s famous recipe and garnered up all my love and stepped into my “baking experience”.

My grandmother prepared biscuits “from scratch” for our family for as long as I can remember. She faithfully used the same 6 ingredients each and every time.

I could feel the energy of “love and joy” being infused into those biscuits as my grandmother started her baking process, to create the best biscuits ever!

Oh, what Joy!

Grandma’s Buttermilk Biscuit Recipe; self-rising flour, ice cold buttermilk, cold sticks of butter/lard, salt, sugar and baking powder.

The Process

When I prepared my first batch of buttermilk biscuits, the approach was simple. Start with LOVE! And then…..

“Stick to the 6 ingredients, keep the measurements accurate, pre-heat the oven and cook the biscuits to the exact time.” The next step, is the taste-test. “Be sure to allow your palate to determine what is needed and then make the necessary adjustments.” I told myself.

And just like that, “PRESTO, I did it”! THE BISCUITS BAKED TO PERFECTION! And yes, my boo, was wooh’d! 🙂

All About Love

Love is not as simple as making biscuits. But like making biscuits, it is my belief that you must have the 6 essential ingredients to create a foundation for “LOVE” to grow.

If you have a general idea of what you and your partner desire, you can to take your relationship to new heights and learn how to love, using a little of this and a dash of that.

“Care, Commitment, Knowledge, Responsibility, Respect and Trust,” are six essentials for a healthy relationship, according to All About Love, Author, Bell Hooks.

Photograph: Bell Hooks Credit: Getty Images 

Six Essentials for Love

After immersing myself in this reading, I too believe that all great relationships have at least 6 essential ingredients.

Some will argue that there are more important ingredients for a great relationship, which could be true. Just keep in mind, each relationship is unique and requires authentic customized ingredients, and therefore, the recipe may be subject to change.

Full disclosure: I am not a “LOVE GURU” by any means. However, I host a relationship centered podcast called “The Relationship Zone” that can be listened to on Spotify.

After talking with numerous guests about love and relationships, I am convinced it is necessary to feel, “cared for by your partner and to care for your partner” just the same.

Without commitment, a relationship is DEAD (non-existing).

Having knowledge of your partners needs, wants and desires is great, but what you do with this knowledge is even of greater importance.

Responsibility helps to build TRUST and RESPECT, which are both main ingredients in building any healthy relationship.

My Final Thoughts

Whether you are making biscuits or building a healthy relationship, having the right ingredients in place is essential to your relational success.

When you have a solid recipe for creating the love that you desire, the possibilities are endless.

So, I leave you with this, “LOVE” on February 14 and every day there after.

Take a moment to simply be together, watch a romantic movie, or even dive into a favorite book. Just be present and intentional with your “love.”

Personalizing a token of your affection is a great way to say, “I LOVE YOU”, and a small display of LOVE, “doesn’t have to break the bank” or you can simply make some biscuits together, 🙂

It has worked for me.