Do you have the support you need?

I recently embarked upon the plant mommy journey. When doing my research, I came across something very interesting about a specific plant. In my search, I came across the beautiful Lily of the Valley.

Lilies of the Valley are easy to grow under various conditions, though they do best in partial shade. Once rooted, they will spread indefinitely by the underground rhizomes. They are an excellent ground cover that lasts until frost sets in. Once established, they will form large clumps that need almost no care and live for many years. Yes, the Lily of the Valley actually prefers a little shade. And as long as it gets well established, it doesn’t need a lot of care to grow and can last for years. 

How does this relate to us as women?

Many women allow the lack of support from friends, family, coworkers, and associates to make us believe we can’t grow, or excel. When these people throw “shade” we may hide our talents and shrink back into a state of paralysis.  

WHAT IF we were like the Lily? WHAT IF we worked harder on making ourselves grounded, firmly rooted into a belief system rather than trying to get support from those that won’t give it to us?  

Now, I’m not saying just forget all about your support system! Even the Lily of the Valley must rely on certain factors like soil and other natural elements for growth.  But by building our foundation and strengthening our belief system, we are less likely to have our growth stunted when we experience apathy and lack of support from others.  

An example of this mentality is expressed by Dr. Shontae R. Buffington, MD, a Pediatrician in Georgia. A few years ago, I interviewed her about dealing with the challenges of a lack of support. This is what she had to say. “Besides my strong faith and following Bible principles, there are two additional things that have helped me. First, I only compete with myself. Each day my focus is on how can I do more and be better than I was the other day. Second, I follow the model from the book, Gitomer, J. H. (1998). Customer satisfaction is worthless, customer loyalty is priceless – how to. Bard Press. This book helped me to focus on building loyal customers or patients, not just satisfied ones. By having this as a focus, it put what others said or did in perspective. It allowed me to ignore the negative opinions of others and become a top doctor in my field.” 

Dr. Buffington stated that the foundation of her success is her belief system. Her faith, her willingness to study and make self-application is the key to success! 

The Take-Away:

In life, YOU are in control. Accept that there will be people who do not support your growth. Let that be their problem and not yours.  Be like the Lily of the Valley, blossom with shade, stay grounded, and let your success speak for itself!

As a Woman…is a weekly column discussing the unique challenges and solutions in health, wealth, finance, and relationships. If you would like to share in the conversation email, lharlem@pwperspective.