It’s no secret that women do a lot. We are mothers, daughters, sisters, aunties, wives, coaches, entrepreneurs, the list goes on and on. How can we maintain our sense of responsibility of being all things to everyone, but keep our inner peace and joy and practice self-love?

Let’s find out from a well-experienced woman to get a few answers!

Meet T.C Mason, a wife, mother of six, grandmother to one, and fitness instructor who also spends her time running a Bed & Breakfast with her husband. Oh, did I mention she is also a clinical mental health therapist currently in her second year of graduate school studying to get her Ph.D. in Psychology?!

Saying that T.C leads a busy life would putting it lightly. I sat down with her to find out the “how and why” behind all she does and what advice she has for other women seeking to better their time management and home-life balance!

Since you are already a clinical mental health therapist, and a fitness instructor, why did you decide to go on to pursue getting your PhD?

Simply put, I love women and I want them to flourish in everything! Women do the most, taking care of everyone’s family, parents, and during this pandemic, it’s created even more challenges for women. Before Covid women were 2 times more likely to suffer from depression and mood disorders and that’s increased due to adding on virtual school, working from home, women typically have struggled with setting boundaries. My focus is on positive psychology to help women thrive at an optimal level.

What things have you done to keep yourself grounded as you do so much to help other women?

I stay grounded by tapping into how I’m feeling. For example, I have a gratitude journal that I created to help others and I use for myself. I also am in therapy myself. I’m very intentional with my time and what I allow. You must be intentional about who you surround yourself. I have no tolerance for unnecessary things. The pandemic has taught me to eliminate what’s unnecessary and have the conversations that are necessary.

What advice would you give women that have a full plate, and must take care of many people?

Identify what you need during this period and how to care for yourself in all ways. Ask yourself, what do I need during this transition stage? I always use this example of working at a job. When you work at a job, you are constantly being evaluated. The first 30-90 days is an evaluation perhaps quarterly evaluations, and then annually. This is to see if you and the job are still a fit, or perhaps if there are things that need to start or stop for you to grow. But many of us don’t think to do this on a personal level. We need to evaluate who is in our life and ask ourselves if they still fit? We may need to evaluate our relationships, even our clothing. The point is, regularly check in with yourself and adjust and adapt to your current needs and situation.

How can a person start that process of self-evaluating?

“You must take time and sit with yourself. Can you be vulnerable with yourself, literally and figuratively look at yourself naked! Identifying where you are, spend time with yourself. Could be to journal, sitting in a quiet place, going to therapy, but you must find that thing that allows you to be in tune with yourself.“

What advice would you give for setting boundaries on your time if you have a full plate?

Have the power to create intentional things around what you can do. If you focus on what you can’t do, then you will go into a negative spiral. Instead, make the most of the times and moments that you have. And then share that positive spin with your family and friends. You may have to tell your friends that you can’t go out with them on a certain night, but then be intentional in time with them. Make the most of it, hype it up and that way you feel good and they understand you aren’t abandoning them.

What lesson would you share about dealing with disappointments?

When disappointments happen, cry about it and then move on. Some may remember, the first B & B that we built was a tree house. We built it together as a family from the ground up. Unfortunately, we had to tear down the tree house because of HOA regulations. We were all very sad, but there was a lesson for us. When you build something, even if it gets torn down, because you built it, you can build it back up even better. In the meantime, we pivoted and took our B&B to a new spot and we will build our dream B&B even better than the first one!

What quote or statement would you say you live by?

“Some movement is better than none. “

Years ago, when I started on my fitness journey, I was excited; I was feeling good and losing weight and then I sprained my ankle. I remember going to my trainer so upset because I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I’ll never forget what the trainer asked me. She asked, “Does the top of your body work? Then work the top of your body until your ankle heals.” And it was that simple. That moment taught me a valuable lesson that I’ve carried through life. Even when something isn’t going right, there is something you can do. Those battling depression may deal with the symptom of feeling the all-or-nothing mentality. But this remedy of just do something can counteract that thinking.  

If you’ve ever seen someone that collects pennies, it may seem silly at first to find one small penny or coin here or there. But when you take those coins to convert to cash, it’s amazing at how much they added up. Life is similar, the small wins add up, so just do something! 

How can people follow you and find out about your services?

I offer free virtual fitness classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, donations are welcome. You can find out about all my services at my website: https://www.imabeautifulweirdo.com/about-1/ I am also available for workshops, and these aren’t your typical workshops. I like to focus on doing things outside of the box helping women get in tune with themselves.

Follow me on Instagram and my hashtag #healthandhappinessstrategist to check out all of my motivational and fun posts.

As a Woman… is a weekly column discussing the unique challenges and solutions in health, wealth, finance, and relationships. If you would like to share in the conversation email, lharlem@pwperspective.com