If one were to do a quick Google search of the term, “self-love”, one would find the results provided about 2,870,000,000 results in about 0.58 seconds. With so many searching for this term, why are there still so many women that struggle with loving themselves? Why is self-love the phrase so trendy but the act not?

There are many reasons that contribute to a woman having low self-esteem. Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we are going to talk about one specific source, and that is trauma related to abuse, which includes sexual abuse. According to Psychology Today, trauma is one of the top 10 reasons for low self-esteem.

(TRIGGER WARNING:)

It states, “Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse may be the most striking and overt causes of low self-esteem. Being forced into a physical and emotional position against your will can make it very hard to like the world, trust yourself, or trust others, which profoundly impacts self-esteem. It may even feel like your fault when it couldn’t be less your fault. Obviously, in these scenarios, there is so much going on at one time that you might need to check out, dissociate, go away. It can make you feel like nothingness. In an effort to gain control of your circumstances, in your head, you may have convinced yourself that you were complicit or even to blame. You may have found ways to cope with the abuse, to manage the chaos in ways that you understand are unhealthy, so you may ultimately view yourself as repulsive and searingly shameful, among a zillion other feelings.”

There are several other factors that can cause a woman to have low self-esteem and be lacking in self-love, but the important thing to know is that recovery is possible. Many women have learned new behaviors through counseling and therapy. Others have found that a deep religious connection and deepening their faith has helped them learn to love themselves. Behaviors, even the ones that result from painful traumatic experiences can change!

If you are struggling in this area, why not look into resources that can help you change the way you see yourself? Loving yourself will not only improve how you see yourself, but it will improve your relationships and even your health.

 In honor National Poetry Month this month as well, check out the poem below entitled, “My Love-The Perfect Love Story!”

As a Woman…is a weekly column discussing the unique challenges and solutions in health, wealth, finance, and relationships. If you would like to share in the conversation email, lharlem@pwperspective.com