As A Woman: Canceling The Generational Curse
“It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going. And if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re probably going wrong.”– Terry Pratchett
Recently, I engaged in a conversation with a friend regarding the term, “generational curse”, which is popularly defined as “the cumulative effect on a person of things that their ancestors did, believed or practiced in the past, and a consequence of an ancestor’s actions, beliefs, and sins being passed down.”
This terminology has become increasingly popular amongst the Black community and has become the common scapegoat for many of the negative behaviors that exist, especially within the modern family dynamic.
In my conversation with her, I shared that I wanted to challenge people to stop using this expression, and I explained why I’d like to cancel that term as we continue onward through 2021.
I believe that words have power. Calling anything a “curse” from the people in our lives that worked so hard to survive automatically creates a negative, almost hopeless mindset. To say that the coping skills that our grandmothers, aunties, and others used (albeit not always healthy) to get by are a curse actively belittles the struggle that these women had to survive while making the best choices they could within the circumstances of their day.
Calling something a “curse” immediately tells our brain that this is something that we have very little (if any) control over. It’s the equivalent of using the term “doomed!” The mind processes this as: “I’m doomed because the women before me made choices that landed them in unhealthy situations and so that’s what will happen to me!”
Why not change the verbiage when we talk about the generations before us? Instead of using the word “curse”, what if we used the expression, “a legacy of courage” or, “an example of faith and fight”, instead?
When we acknowledge these women did what they knew in order to take care of themselves and their families with the limited resources they had, only then can we feel a sense of empowerment when we look back at their choices, rather than doomed. Our ancestors may not have lived during a time when they had the freedoms, resources, and tools that we have at our disposal today, but we can respect that many of them held onto their belief in family and their reliance on spirituality to guide them through challenging times. And that should be the lesson which we can take from our elders!
If you would like to continue to celebrate the legacy of the women that paved the way, join My Natural Me for an upcoming event:
Women Making History and Changing the Game on Sunday, March 7th 2021, 4pm
Join this panel of women as they discuss becoming a part of history by changing the game. They will answer the questions:
✨What can you do to be a history maker?
✨How do you show up consistently?
✨How to overcome negative biases and changing the game in the process!
This is a Free Event with VIP option. VIP tickets receive special gifts and discounts on services and a Meet and Greet directly following the event.
As a Woman… is a weekly column discussing the unique challenges and solutions in health, wealth, finance, and relationships. Have a topic you would like discussed? Email: lharlem@pwperspective.com
